broken glass went to my head
you laughed at me
people pass by and pretend not to notice.
they have to see it. there's no way they can't -
how can they just walk by like it's not really fucked up?
that thought settles with me frequently.
we watch passively as people destroy each other, ourselves.
we're so incredibly selfish. I'm selfish.
grasping desperately for the things we want.
i don't even know what that is.
it seems to evolve from one thing to another before i have time to register it.
but then I'll have a day like today,
for a minute
I'll grasp clarity, I'll have this elaborate reality of a way to live that would actually make me happy -
and I could breathe, I had strength, and solutions.
but I think i've lost sight of it again.
as though i thought of the how
and was frightened.
i always thought i'd be stronger, more resolute.
seems like the way i've lived for the past six years
(constantly rooted to another person)
has handicapped me - i swore i'd never be this way.
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