What an expedition I have been on!
Is it more interesting to blame someone else? Some higher power?
Of course!
We are artists!
We cannot be at fault!
We are following the paths laid before us,
and though the choices are certainly our own,
the "forces" which imparted us with particular personalities have guided us to this misery.
And so I tell you,
it is not my fault.
I have before me what I wish to be:
She is blonde and blue eyed and beautiful.
Astounding happiness and love for others,
and they for her.
Maybe that's the part I want:
to be adored by everyone I encounter.
This is me desperately trying to communicate with someone.
This is honest.
I am desperate for a place to be honest.
For a person to unload their truths
so that I may do the same.
Otherwise I am only meant to blog and journal for my own release,
which is just fucking sad.
I have to teach myself to bring people in. To disarm.
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